This weeks letter is to say 'I'm Sorry'.
For those of you that don't really know me, I will tell you that I have always been a 'live by the moment' person. Very spontaneous. Some call me very reckless. Sometimes doing very stupid things. I can't say that I regret a lot as, to live by the moment means to accept that you sometimes make foolish mistakes. I own them.
There is one however, that I regret severely. It was not so much the action itself, which really did not mean much to me at the time, however, I regret how it made you feel.
I let you down. I betrayed your trust. It was a very stupid mistake.
You were one of my best friends and I have always lived by the rule that, best friends (or husbands and wives for that matter) should not mess with the others 'significant other'.
It was a rule I had lived by for all of my life. Except this time.
Looking back now, almost 35 years later, I really don't know if I justified what I did by saying that 'he was mine first anyway, so I have a right to be with him again if I want', or maybe, deep down, I was jealous of how beautiful you were, how easily you could make friends, how you could speak to anyone, and how smart you were. Maybe I just wanted to 'take' something from you. He really wasn't important at the moment. It just happened and it was wrong. Eventually you forgave me, however, things were never the way they were before. We were never close again. Then of course, after high school, we just drifted completely apart.
We did eventually catch up again on Facebook, and I smile when I see what a proud mom you had become and how you finally found love again after beating insurmountable obsticles, and it brings me back to when we were girls in school, just beginning life and taking it by the horns.
However, to this day, it was my one true regret. Losing my friend. I am sorry.
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